Birthday Cake, Easter & the News Madonna Whore Complex
      03.31.10 // 2100 // UTiliX-CO // arr


  by Kila Weaver 

So I went into the Lenten season on Feb. 17 (Ash Wednesday and also my birthday) with the resolve to give up the entertainment blogs that I love (ever so privately) and live gossip free until Easter.  My goal was to wash out my brain, take that time and devote it to something useful.  I figured if I restricted my discretionary web browsing to legitimate news sites and of course FB, I'd keep my promise.  Little did I know that all the famous people who I'll never meet would follow me from the slightly seedy streets of TMZ, DListed and Bossip to respectable neighborhoods like the Chicago Sun Times (ha!), the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, Huffington Post and even Daily Kos.  Not to mention television and even .. gasp .. public radio.

I know, this is nothing original or mind blowing, but should you have to make an effort (no television, radio, newspapers, magazines, etc.) to NOT hear any celebrity gossip?  Is there no source that's just "pure" news?  Entertainment industry business reporting is different.  Gossip (i.e., talking about people) is not news.  I sound completely hypocritical, but I have been pretty bummed over the last few weeks to hear "respected journalists"--from our local affiliate news teams here in Chicago to the "venerable" talking heads on the national broadcasts--tell me (in serious voices, with straight faces) about:

1.  Tiger Woods - "Sexts" released by mistress #75, whom I've also learned is a "major porn star" with an extensive "body of work."  The language of the texts is actually stated. I don't judge anyone who does sex work, or people's personal/sex lives in general, but somehow I also don't want to hear this at 10pm when I'm chilling in my Snuggie drinking tea and preparing to go to sleep.  I don't want to hear about her or him.  Total file under: Things I could happily go to my grave without ever having known.

2.  John Edwards--Rielle Hunter--his assistant who wrote that book--et. al.  I mean, I guess this is news since he may catch a case behind it if a money trail from his campaign fund to her bank account is established but...I mean, come on.  

 

It's textbook HGAM (hot ghetto ass mess).

3.  Little Wayne going to jail on Rikers Island.  No dis but, didn't we all kind of see this coming?  In fact, are we not surprised it took this long?

4.  John Mayer says vaguely racist things about sex with black women (I can't believe I am even typing this) and trifling things about women he's dated, specifically Jessica Simpson.  Again, I just can't.  Except now, when I listen to "Why Georgia" I don't feel the gentle narcoleptic haze as much as I did before I saw this discussed on CNN or wherever.

5.  Corey Haim passing away. This one gave me the sads because I did at one point in the '80s fall under the spell, albeit briefly, of the two Coreys.  Not in a "boyfriendy" way but in a "cool/cutesy" way.  This was when I was transitioning from my Richard Anderson crush (don't sleep on John Boy back in the day) to my River Phoenix crush. RIP, Mr. Haim.  Actually, I guess reporting this is news.  The faux-concerned speculation as to why is not.

6.  The Oscars (which I watched) and the hyped up race between Avatar and the Hurt Locker.  This was given more airtime and ink than the healthcare debate in the week before the broadcast.  I love movies, this is firmly established with anyone who knows me.  But, really?  The fact that Bigalow won is news; the speculation about her and Cameron (their marriage, divorce, current relationship, etc.) is not.

There were more, I'm just out of gas at this point.  Basically I have a news Madonna/Whore Complex.  How's everyone else doing thus far?

 

     
                                                                          

Please read other columns by Kila Weaver
 
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